A quick Detroit Primer for the Barackstar
By RightMichigan.com Posted in Barack Obama | Breaking News | Kwame Kilpatrick | Michigan | Tony Rezko | www.RightMichigan.com — Comments (0) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
Cross-posted on Right Michigan at www.RightMichigan.com.
The Bicyclist cometh. To Detroit. Finally. It's been, oh, a good long time since the man stood in front of the Detroit Economic Club, bad mouthed the Big 3 and insisted on massive new federal regulations that are expected to add thousands to the cost of every Michigan built automobile but early next week Barack Obama is finally coming back to the Motor City.
He's avoided the D like the plague for the last year and it'd be understandable if he was a little nervous about this long-overdue return engagement so me being the good sport that I am, I figured I'd give him a little primer. A quick crash course on the things to do and not do during his "campaign stop" and "fundraiser." Whatever form those happen to take.
First things first, please stay away from Comerica Park. You've done enough damage already and with your White Sox leaving the City before you arrive I'd just as soon we keep that AL Central leading, unrepentant Tiger shellacking Chi-Town karma as far from the "please-oh-please-someone-bless-those-boys" as possible.
Feel free, though, to spend any extra minutes hanging out with Super Delegate, accused criminal mastermind and a big fan of yours, Kwame Kilpatrick. I'm sure it'd mean the world to Hizzoner if you paid homage to the turn-out king. And we know from your intimate experience with that convicted felon Tony Rezko guy that you don't have a problem dealing with the smarmier set so long as they vote the right way and donate to the right causes. (Land deals are fun.)
But a word of caution... if you see this man (-->) look out!
That's Bobby Ferguson. I know down in Chicago you've got the whole Al Capone - Elliott Ness history and a lot of famous wise guys back around prohibition... here in Detroit we do things a little differently. No fancy hats. No zoot suits or tommy guns.
Guys like Ferguson, they'll just pistol whip you in public, maybe take a few shots with a Tech 9 whiles screaming "kill them, kill them"... you never can tell. So have your secret service guys on the ready.
Where the Mayor is, Bobby's not far behind. Unless he's counting all his money. The Detroit News reports this morning that he's raked in a whole bundle of it courtesy of the taxpayers these last few years through what don't necessarily appear to be the most ethical of transactions.
...An analysis of records by The Detroit News shows his share of water department contracts has jumped more than 20-fold since Kilpatrick took office. Half of them have doubled, tripled or almost quadrupled in price because of additional work -- a cost that is spread among customers in 126 communities across southeast Michigan.
That's $170 million in contracts since the Mayor took office.
Ferguson gets more money from change orders than any other water department contractor. Ferguson has received $39 million in change orders, which are ordered for various reasons, including additional work under the same contract. Under Kilpatrick, 46 companies and joint ventures have been awarded change orders. Contracts associated with Ferguson account for 29 percent of total city cash spent on the orders.
On average, water and sewer contracts increased 14 percent from their original amount. Ferguson's jumped 48 percent.
In one case, a rival contractor said he was forced out of business by Ferguson, whom he accused of underbidding competitors only to reap big profits later through unbid, uncompetitive contract increases -- called change orders.
A bunch of those change orders came courtesy of the Hip Hop Mayor via emergency powers, without the normal review and oversight. So you might get the idea that he's just another dirty under-the-table dealing developer. I know, those are just your kind of guys, but really, this one's bad news. You should stay away.
Moving on... I saw the pictures of your little bike ride this weekend and I know you're a man who is not easily embarrassed so while in Detroit you might succumb to the urge to dance. This is, after all, Motown. Your home town might have us beat on the old-time mobster front but music? One word. Aretha.
And when's the last time giant "Untouchable" style police raids made news in the Windy City? The 1930s?
If you do decide to bust a move, be careful and make sure you ask to see the dancing license wherever you happen to be. Apparently the Detroit Police Department is raiding art houses ticketing people for dancing without a license. No. I'm not kidding. The Ivory Tower reports:
To patrons, Funk Night, which lasts from midnight to 5 a.m., is a popular monthly dance party that is the laid-back essence of a sophisticated city...
To the police, CAID was a blind pig, where people were buying beer after hours. They handed out 130 tickets for loitering in a place where alcohol was being sold illegally and impounded 44 cars, which cost $900 to get back.
The site of the raid, the Contemporary Art Institute of Detroit -- CAID -- on Rosa Parks Boulevard, is a nonprofit that, for 29 years, has promoted art and art education in Detroit. Aaron Timlin, CAID's executive director and a Detroit booster, notes that CAID's current exhibit, architectural designs to improve neighborhoods, is cosponsored by the City of Detroit.
Illegal dancing AND illegal alcohol sales. Any native Chicagoan should feel right at home in Detroit this time of year. But you know what? The more I think about it the more I'm convinced you probably shouldn't dance period. Anywhere. Because A) you don't want to get caught up in a giant anti-dancing police raid. And B) we really don't need to see this again...
Ever...